Faith
Yesterday was hard. It was one of those days where I felt like a failure. I cried and wrote in my journal, "Lord, how can I speak to your precious women about trusting and surrender and your ability to make them into the writer you've called them to be, when I so clearly haven't fully surrendered my own plans?"
I got discouraging news yesterday. News that made me feel like I'm not good enough. Like someone whose respect I truly want, just doesn't respect me at all. Ouch. That hurts. I had a day of asking the Lord to please take my hurt. please allow me the grace to keep moving if the answer from Him is "no" to the dream that I truly thought was His idea.
It's easy to be a Barbarian in theory. But when push comes to shove, do I lay down my weapon and give up, or do I hold up my leather shield against the onslaught of arrows coming at me and say, "NO if I fail, I fail trying."
It took all day for me to summon the strength to raise my shield, to flick off the arrows that had been stinging me all day. By the time I was ready to stop feeling sorry for myself, God spoke to my heart and once again assured me that He will complete that which He began in me. I dream so big, that there are going to be disappointments on the way up. There will be setbacks, there will be sore muscles, there will be flesh wounds. But only I decide if the wounds are unto death or annoyances that just make me more determined to stay in and continue to fight for the Heart of my King.
I choose to fight for His glory. I choose to complete my current assignments from him and make them truly something for his Honor.
Today, I wrote and wrote and laughed and enjoyed every word. I thanked the Lord for each word and we created a new character. Together, Jesus and I. A great character that I love. One I'd love to write an entire story around.
Tonight I can shut down my computer knowing I've blessed his heart. I obeyed and wrote toward the completion of another book he's so kindly blessed me with the opportunity to write. I worshipped him with the words today. They were His. I can watch a movie with my husband and go run on my treadmill knowing I've done what He asked of me today--it was a LOT of words--close to 5K.
Thanks for today, Lord. Days like this make days like yesterday worth it.
I'll follow you, Lord. I don't ask for special privileges, or that you'd make things easy, but rather that you make me tough enough to get through the hard times and tender enough to melt my heart to yours when you ask for worship in whatever form that worship takes.
So that's my confession and my praise report.
Whatsoever your hands find to do, do it mightily as unto the Lord.
I got discouraging news yesterday. News that made me feel like I'm not good enough. Like someone whose respect I truly want, just doesn't respect me at all. Ouch. That hurts. I had a day of asking the Lord to please take my hurt. please allow me the grace to keep moving if the answer from Him is "no" to the dream that I truly thought was His idea.
It's easy to be a Barbarian in theory. But when push comes to shove, do I lay down my weapon and give up, or do I hold up my leather shield against the onslaught of arrows coming at me and say, "NO if I fail, I fail trying."
It took all day for me to summon the strength to raise my shield, to flick off the arrows that had been stinging me all day. By the time I was ready to stop feeling sorry for myself, God spoke to my heart and once again assured me that He will complete that which He began in me. I dream so big, that there are going to be disappointments on the way up. There will be setbacks, there will be sore muscles, there will be flesh wounds. But only I decide if the wounds are unto death or annoyances that just make me more determined to stay in and continue to fight for the Heart of my King.
I choose to fight for His glory. I choose to complete my current assignments from him and make them truly something for his Honor.
Today, I wrote and wrote and laughed and enjoyed every word. I thanked the Lord for each word and we created a new character. Together, Jesus and I. A great character that I love. One I'd love to write an entire story around.
Tonight I can shut down my computer knowing I've blessed his heart. I obeyed and wrote toward the completion of another book he's so kindly blessed me with the opportunity to write. I worshipped him with the words today. They were His. I can watch a movie with my husband and go run on my treadmill knowing I've done what He asked of me today--it was a LOT of words--close to 5K.
Thanks for today, Lord. Days like this make days like yesterday worth it.
I'll follow you, Lord. I don't ask for special privileges, or that you'd make things easy, but rather that you make me tough enough to get through the hard times and tender enough to melt my heart to yours when you ask for worship in whatever form that worship takes.
So that's my confession and my praise report.
Whatsoever your hands find to do, do it mightily as unto the Lord.
posted by Tracey Bateman at 8:07 PM
5 Comments:
Great post, Tracey! I can relate. :) Writing biz has it's ups and downs.
Praying for you.
Love, R
Yet another great post I can identify with, and gain insight, fortification, and peace. Don't ever stop speaking from the heart, Tracey. You give to others in the process.
My "boomerang" son just discovered this verse earlier this week, and read it to us several times. He had this incredulous look on his face. "Do you get it? Do I get it? Do we all get it?"
Wow.
You're a blessing, woman.
I have goosebumps!
Our church is being attacked in a horrible way. Some ministers met with my pastor on Monday night to pray on our behalf and one minister, in prayer, with such authority asked the Lord to remove the arrows that were stinging us! He said a lot more, but the arrows reference really stuck with my pastor. My pastor also has said, in nearly every service, that the Lord will be faithful to complete in you that which He began! And to see both these things mentioned in your blog entry was a huge blessing to me! Thank you!!
Michelle,
Prayers for your church and your pastor. There seems to be a lot of this. After someone in my church read the blog they mentioned that at a staff meeting that day, they had dealt with the same. So I guess the church catching the darts are the ones getting the devil's attention right now. Keep pressing on. Your labor is NOT in vain.
Tracey
Post a Comment
<< Home