Heaven

This has been a long year of friends and loved ones going to be with Jesus. In a way, my life seems to have spiraled into some real depressing moments, hours, days, months. It's been heartbreaking for me. Hard to break through.

This is what Ted Dekker says in The Slumber of Christianity (which is a call for Christians to return to the joy of this hope of Heaven): "We should obsess after Christ and the power of his resurrection. We should preoccupy our minds with our inheritance. Otherwise our pain will rage unchecked and will bear a fruit of bitterness and hopelessness."

I remember a phrase that the Christians used to say. those who weren't ready to surrender every cell and emotion to God, they would say, "Don't be so heavenly minded you're no earthly good."
Okay, don't be a lunatic and carry signs, but we SHOULD be heavenly minded. Heaven minded.

Can you imagine the disciples who ate, slept, and fellowshiped with Jesus? After his death, I can only imagine that every single day they woke up with a pain in their stomachs, praying that today be the day Jesus returned or they go be with him. I long to see him face to face. To reunite with those who have gone before me.

Trisha went to be with Jesus this morning. She was in her twenties. A young wife. And a former youth member of mine and Rusty's when we were youth pastors a few years ago. I've known her since she was a little girl and I was good friends with her mom. Trish was a beautiful singer, a talented writer, and strong in principle.
Jesus was waiting for her this morning and she walked into his arms. No more tears, no more pain. Joy unspeakable full of glory....

Come quickly Lord Jesus.

Football and Pizza

Will's team won 24 to 8 last night!! My little linebacker did a GREAT job. Got a tackle and blocked to the best of his ability. This has been a crazy couple of weeks. I've felt hammered by fellow christians. I was thinking how we need to be linebackers for eachother. Intercession. Blocking enemy access to our brothers and sisters. When we gossip and judge it's like just standing there and letting the enemy run right through our defenses and win. But it's not just them. I have to see my own heart too. Am I truly loving even when they hurt me? Am I blocking access to the enemy from my brothers and sisters? The word says we're a peculiar people. I think part of that is because we bless those who curse us. We pray for those who despise us. We take the high road and love even when people don't love us back. Jesus loves me, this I know. I love him and my neighbor as myself.

Mom went with us last night. We had a great time sitting in the cool evening air watching the game, talking... then went for pizza. Had a great server who saved us $10 by pointing out that we ordered everything on a family special deal, only we ordered it separately. Gave her a good tip. I like walking in favor. It surrounds me like a shield.

Today I woke up before 6 am. Couldn't sleep. Had a lot on my mind. I decided to get up and work out. So here it is 7:12. Just finished. I'm going to have coffee with Rusty, shower, and get Stevan to church before 9 so he can help his team in Kid's church. He's a teenager now and has always wanted to help in ministry.
I'm proud of him. God is truly blessing my kids. Thanks, Lord.

Peace

Big Thanks!

To my friends and writing community. The internet brings so much into the life of a person who works from home. I praise God for the day I met Lynn Coleman and she invited me into her online community of Christians with the same passions I have. To serve God through writing. For the past 10 years or so, I've been honored and blessed to know some amazing incredible people and have made lifelong friends, prayer partners, and bible study pals. A solid group of friends who listen to God and give me correction when they see me headed off in the wrong direction, but give me a pat on the back when they see me doing right. It's hard to constantly be criticized. It's heart rending and not in a good way. That's why the Bible tells fathers not to be too harsh with their kids because it can cause them to lose hope. I think writers more than anyone else understand that. We can definitely take correction. We have to if we're going to be any good at what God has called us to do. But we also know if we have an overly critical editor who never gives a thumbs up, it beats us down and makes us feel worthless. (this isn't the case with me. I tough, but tender editors).

So...thank you, thank you, thank you. You who speak the truth in love, but never, ever belittle me!! I pray that I have given you the same blessing over the last 10 years.

Last night I was so bummed. Feeling like a failure, like I can't do or say anything right. I was praying, "Please, Lord. Show me my heart, but do it with kindness so I'm not destroyed inside." You see. I WANT to be pure and holy before God. But I've seen so much church abuse and experienced it in the past that it's hard for me to trust church "leaders". I've missed out on a lot because of my distrust. But I've also avoided some pitfalls. I'm seeking God to help me find the balance.

Anyway, I got an email from a lady I don't know. A minister who has read the Claire series and thanked me for "listening to God" and ministering to her and her sister who is also a ministry wife of a senior pastor. Wow, healing balm. And so needed, especially from someone who is currently serving in ministry. I cried, thanked God for confirmation that I'm not a complete screw up, and went to bed seeking him about a couple of situations in my life. So...back to the calling at hand. No more guilt trips, no more twisted thinking or bitterness. God is good, all the time.
Hey, we're barbarians, right? Barbarians do what they have to do but don't get distracted by anything other than the mission!

OH sidenote...
Will, my nine-year-old was player of the night on his team during practice last night.
I've been speaking favor over him for awhile because he has such low self esteem. He's so quiet, that he tends to be overlooked by teachers at school and church. It's funny how people just assume about some kids and don't take time...I think it would surprise a lot of people to know that Will is a straight A student with so much intelligence that it's almost mind boggling. He has been opening up a lot lately and I'm floored by so many of his insights.

We've been spending a lot of time together, reading every night. Talking about issues that are important to him. God gave me some clear direction a few months ago about how He needs me to raise Will and I've been careful to be consistent in most of them. (We've discussed poor church attendance, so no need to go there! That's my issue. :) ).

Well, enough. I feel like taking a deep, cleansing breath and getting to work for the day.

Love and Peace. God truly is FOR you. His favor surrounds you like a shield.

It's really Fall!!

Can you guys believe it's October already??? Some Christians hate this month because of Halloween. But I don't. I mean, it gets a little spooky and we do have to plead the blood of Jesus. But I spent too many years living in paranoia and fear and I'm done with all that. If you don't want to trick or treat, then don't. It's probably not the best choice in today's world. But if you do choose to, make sure it's okay between you and God. Someone mentioned the other day that it saddens them to see the seduction of Christians this time of year.

I tell you, i don't feel seduced at all. I don't have trick or treat aged kids, I take them to the church party and we don't dress up, but I have to shake my head at the mentality that if you don't agree with me, you're somehow being lied to and seduced by the devil. As though one Christian is more spiritual because they choose not to acknowledge the holiday. The same people, however who DO partake in "harvest" parties that happen to be held on the same night. I don't know....I'm just sick of the idea that you must believe and speak my way or it's the wrong way.

Well, I wrote today with happy thoughts and it just went downhill pretty fast. LOL SOO on to the really cool news!

Remember I told you a few months ago that I wasn't moving on a proposal until I got real direction? Well, I finally got it and I'm moving forward with a proposal.
The thing is, I have to get my sales numbers together to put in a good pitch, so I've been going through royalty statements and adding figures to last year's figures and I was astonished to find my sales are over 900K sold. I look back over the last eight years and I have to praise God and give him all the glory for everything he's done for me.

To God be all the glory---I truly mean that. I know I'm nothing without Him.

Happy October!!
Tracey