Aha moment

Do you ever just feel like you're walking knee-deep in a sandstorm? Or let's say snowstorm since it's supposed to snow here tomorrow.
Anyway, pushing as hard as you can only you can't see where you're going and you can barely make it through the drifts you're trudging through.

Man that's where I've been for two weeks. Working harder than I've ever worked on a proposal, thinking I'm done, then starting completely over. I've written abotu 25k WORDS. And over half are going to the discard pile because the chapters just don't work for what I'm doing. I might use them some other time on some other proposal, but not this one. All that work for something that may or may not actuall sell. (sidebar: That's the way it is in life. Taking a chance and working hard even when there are no guarantees. Keep working those of you who aren't published and are working without results. God sees your efforts and if you're called to do this. You will!)

Well, I had two separate FULL proposals and you know what that means, those of you who are writers, a synopsis (which takes all day to write just itself) and three chapters another three to five days, depending on length of chapters. I send the new synopsis to a couple of friends I happen to have talking with that day. And guess what? One of them liked one, the other liked the other better!! ARGH!!!! Now I was more confused than ever!!! I need to get this book proposal to my agent so he can get it to my editor. FINALLY, I wrote to my agent and ranted a little. He said, I can't really help if you don't let me in on the problem." So I sent him both synopses.
Within 12 hours I had my answer, my confusion was gone, I had new direction, and for the first time in two weeks I have clarity and confidence.

WHEW. I feel much better.
Thank God for people who are willing to help. I tend to pull away, go off on my own. i like solitude. But sometimes we have to come out and let people in.
And that's my story and sage advice for today. Do as much as you can, but when you feel like you've hit a wall---ask for help. You have not because you ask not. God had been speaking to me for days to ask Steve for help. But I was too stubborn. Would have saved me some trouble.
Love lots
Peace

A future and a hope

A good friend reminded me of this scripture tonight.
Having friends who hear God's heart for me when I'm so bound with anxiety or am too busy to hear his voice is priceless. A friend sticks closer than a brother!

Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12 'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13 'You will seek Me and find {Me} when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 'I will be found by you,' declares the LORD, 'and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,' declares the LORD, 'and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile.'

Thank you, Cathy, for listening and taking the time to send this to me. And most of all for being a prayer warrior on my behalf.

And to all my friends. I love you!
Now back to work for me!

Pam tagged me!!

Well, I can't blow off the blog because Pam tagged me. Which means apparently, that I have to list 15 things about myself that are book-related.

1. Where the Wild things are is my favorite children's book (maybe my favorite book period)
2. Junie B Jones is my favorite book to read aloud. I refuse to let my children have a turn to read out loud because I love to crack myself up with the voice of this wonderful character
3. When I read secular chicklit and then go to write my own lit books I have to pray because I have a tendency to "think" the "F" word.
4. I hate all Oprah's book club books and still dream of being on there some day
5. I've had my Christy winner speech written for three years (and I've never had an eligible book, let alone been nominated)
6. I started reading Deb Raney's After The Rains while in the tub. And stayed there for three hours until I finished reading it.
7. I read Gone With the Wind for the first time when I was 11 years old. (and a gillian times since)
8. My amazing writing buddies rewrite some of my sentences while critiquing and add paragraphs at times....and I use them word for word.
9. I'm boycotting all of Brandilyn Collins' books until she writes another Women's Fiction (I still buy them, I just won't read them as a matter of principle)
10. Rachel Hauck is going to be as popular as a Christian Chicklit author as Kristin Billerbeck (and I'm not just saying that)
11. I read the book "TISHA" once a year when it gets cold. BUY THIS BOOK. It's old, but marvelous!!!!
12. I have never read the Bible all the way through. (I have plans with a group of friends to do that very thing beginning January 1---I CAN"T wait. The word changes a person. 2006 is MY year to know Jesus better through His word.
13 I have all the orginal LOVE COMES SOFTLY series --bought by my mom as they came out beginning in 1979. Ditto the HB Left Behind series
14. I paid $40 for a book called Dawn's Early Light just because it was my mom's favorite book when I was growing up and I saw her reading it over and over. I read her copy as a kid, but I've never read my own. I keep it because it reminds me of growing up (and i figure my sister will get hers when she's gone--which is okay with me :))
15. I am so grateful to God for making me a writer. I am 36 years old, and I pray I get to keep working for the next 30 years.

Not sure how this works, but I guess I have to tag someone (sorry friends!!)
Chris (Christinelynxwiler.com) and Rachel (rachelhhauck.com)