Life moves on....

You know what's just wrong with a capital W? Cheryl Ladd doing a menopause comercial. Know what I mean? Chris Monroe, Charlie's Angel. She was always my favorite angel. She drove that cool Cobra 2 and had a car phone!!! And I loved the way she held her gun with two hands and said, "Hold it!" I always wanted to be her. But sheesh not now. Menopause comercials!! that's just not possible.
Next month I'm turning 36. I will officially be closer to 40 than 30. I don't like that.
I feel like I've wasted my thirties being fat. And yet in another way, my thirties have been the best time of life. I grew up a lot. Served on the ACFW board, got published and published and published. My career mushroomed, my relationships grew. I have the best friends of my life, (Hi Pinkies!).

I will soon be talking about menopause, attending my children's graduations and weddings, getting grandchildren. I've wanted to be thirty since I was twenty-one (don't ask why), so I've always loved my thirties. I need to set some real goals to look forward to once I'm in my forties and beyond. Maybe when I'm in my forties my career will settle into a routine where I can write two a year and still make a living. That would DEFINITELY be something to look forward to.

:)

Fortune Cookies

Had Chinese for lunch today.
Broke open my fortune cookie.
"The best friend is a good mirror."

Hey! That's a little rude, depressing, Is God saying something about my lack of effort on my diet this last week? (deadline stress. I just run for the fridge--or the Border. :) ) Give me a break! Even the fortune cookies are telling me to lose weight? How do they KNOW? And for the record, Chinese food hasn't helped my situation any. So who are they to judge?

Read it again. "The best mirror is a good friend." AHHHH Now THAT makes sense.

Friends see us as we are. True friends love us, nurture us, cry with us, laugh with us, notice when we lost weight, but don't notice if we gain. Friends are to be cherished. I have been blessed with unbelievably faithful friends. I love them.

That's it today. That fortune cookie got me all friend-sappy. :)

Hugs!

Five things I miss about my childhood

WARNING LONG BLOG!!

Rachel's brother challenged her to do this, so I'm going to also...
Five things I miss about my childhood:

1.) My dad and my sister, Linda
2.) No worries about money. :)
3.) Hart to Hart and the Facts of Life
4.) Everything being "all about me"
5.) My Peter Pan story record. Wouldn't Never, neverland be nice? :)

I'm feeling a bit like a kid today. Do you ever feel like you're learning the same lessons over and over? My lesson this week deals with relationships. I tend to take every relationship I have over to friendship. It's okay sometimes. But not always. I have trouble with professional relationships. I really do. And in a business like publishing, you have to know where to draw that line. I've learned that today. I won't be fooled again by my own assumption that people like me. I'm not good with duplicity. I don't discern it well. Chris does. She's always telling me when people are truly my friends and when they're not. But I'm like a loyal pup. Throw me a bone and I'm there, tail wagging, tongue hanging, hoping for a pat on the head. Kick me and I'll cower, but a soft spoken word or smile brings me right back for more.

So here's the new Tracey. Friends are friends. Superiors are superiors, and never the twain shall meet again. It's not bitterness, it's wisdom. It's a good lesson that I needed to learn. I just wish it wasn't so hard to learn these things. You know?

Now, on a great note! I spent several hours yesterday reading the galley of Leave it to Claire (got to bed at 3am!). Found some typos and stuff, but otherwise, I'm pretty happy with the finished product. It's going to be a hard five month wait before I see it released. Really hard. I hope the publisher has tons of promotion stuff lined up for me to do. I'm really wanting to see these books do well.

In the meantime, I also received my first Love Inspired Suspense yesterday. My copies. I was a little surprised at how happy I was to get those. I just thought after all the books I've had published that it wouldn't be such a big deal to hold that new book. But it was a great thrill. I had to praise God.

It's called Reasonable Doubt. Received 4 stars from Romantic Times and the reviewer said, "Tracey V. Bateman takes readers on a wild ride through the dark side into God's light and redemption. Strong characterization and straight-from-the-headlines action makes Reasonable Doubt a cut above the rest."

WOWSERS. I was just holding my breath and hoping the reviewer wouldn't question my editor's sanity in even buying anything from me. This was that abundantly above all I could ask or think. God is good.

Today I will be doing my galley for The Color of the Soul (just found out it had a THE in front of it), Makes sense. :) My original title was OUT OF BONDAGE, but marketing and sales felt that it was a little negative. They're probably right. I like the new title so much better. But I do wonder what the marketing sales team that worked on The Lovely Bones thought. :)

Anyway, signed my contract for the two sequels: THE Freedom of the Soul and THE Splendor of the Soul this week.

I really do write in too many genres. I need to pick one and stick with it. I love writing the momlit best. It's fresh, funny, no research, :). But I enjoy the historicals too. The finished products anyway. they're harder to write, harder to edit because you have to be sure all the details are down. I probably won't be writing any more suspense. I'll leave those to the masters like Susan May Warren, Terri Blackstock, Colleen Coble. They have that stuff nailed! I am too jumpy. I scared myself a few times writing those three suspense books for Steeple Hill. :) I'm such a wuss.

Okay, I'm off to read over galleys of The Color of the Soul. Looking forward to it.
Have a great day! Cherish friendships. I know I do.
Hugs

Off the ledge

Well, I thought I'd better write a little something after my last post--ie the cry for prozac.
Two of my friends have answered my whine and taken pity on me. well, three really, but one of them could only do so much because she's about to go out of town. But I love her and appreciate the input she's given.
Rachel and Chris have both been critiquing and it's been a tremendous push forward for me as they assure me I still have CLAIRE'S voice down pat. That yes, Tracey, you're funny. NO, you don't sound like a total moron freak. No, noone is going to ask for their money back.
You get the idea.
I'm needy. I am not ashamed to admit that. Anyone this close to deadline is a basket case who thinks they have totally forgotten how to write. ONLY faithful friends can possibly talk you off the ledge. and you'd only dare to ask faithful friends to read this fast. :) Anyone else would tell you where to get off.

God was also very sweet to me in his Word today. I'll treasure the few minutes we shared. It was personal, just for me. :) But it reminded me that god considers this ministry/career of mine just as important as I do and He's just as invested in me succeeding as I am--moreso even.

diet is in the toilet (okay that sounded bad). Anyway, I've resorted to comfort food and probably gained all my weight back so I'm not going to weight in this week. I'll get back on the program and will go and face the music next week.

It's almost 4 in the morning. Still have at least 1000 words to write before I can crash. Pray for my body over the next week and two days.

Isolation

Deadline mania. Again. this is the last one in a string of deadlines over the past two years. In two weeks I will get some time off. But I feel myself shutting down now. I have been going on autopilot for so long, that now the end is in sight I'm having trouble focusing. Trouble thinking. I feel like I've forgotten how to write. For me this is a crisis. I've had times during each deadline crunch where I think I can't do this. I don't remember how to write, but never have I felt this way.
My mom's out of town for a much-needed vacation, friends are busy or sick, I'm in a place I've never been where there's no one to help talk me down off the ledge.
Ah well, sink or swim, I have to trust God. Funny, the theme of my book is about trusting God and not trying to figure everything out on your own.
A lesson to learn before I drive home the theme? maybe.
God bless.