Leadership

It seems like everywhere I turn this past week I'm confronted with the issue of leadership. I'm a leader this, and I'm a leader that. See...the thing is, I don't want to be a leader. My entire teen years and young adult years were spent preparing for leadership roles. I wanted it so badly. For God to make my life count for something and take me to this place of leadership. But then I got there. :) OUCH it's HARD to be a leader. To take the hits, the stress, the accountability. Once we left the church where I was worship leader, I tried a couple of times to participate in different areas at the new church because I truly did want to serve, but I wasn't ready at all. There were too many wounded areas that needed healing. So I threw myself into writing. And I felt like it was okay with God for me to sit back and rest awhile. I mean, I did lead ACFW for a couple of years and before that was Vice President and stuff. So I served where I felt I should. But I'm talking in the church and in general. The last few years everytime there's been a leadership training class I've conveniently passed on attending. I mean, come on, we know what it takes to be a leader, don't we?
1.) A solid walk with God
2.) Faithful church attendance
3.) humility
4.) a stable home life
5.) faithful church attendance
6.) faithful church attendance
7.) Faithful church attendance
OH and last but not least
8,) Faithful church attendance

Guess which one I have trouble with. I got really really burned out on church. I mean organized, this is how it's done, gossip fest, mean people suck, you're not doing this right, church, so it became really hard for me to lock in, even at this FANTASTIC church we attend now (and have for the past 8 years or so). My attendance is sporadic at best. My personal walk with God remains strong and I listen to the podcasts of my pastor's sermons and hook in with the prayer team every day through an email loop, and we pay our tithe, but when it comes to really pressing in and putting my butt in the chair at church itself on a weekly basis, I struggle. And I know I'm not alone.

Anyway, I've been sick with the flu and down in bed almost all week and God has been dealing with me about his purpose for me and my role as a leader and all the things I'm missing because I refuse to obey in this one area of my life.
I got a tough love message from one of the pastors at church last week. It was "BE THERE. I don't want any excuses." MAN what a great message. Guess what? I was there. I'm not sure his motives were all about me, but that's not what I need to be concerned with(we're all human, right? It's okay to be frustrated when someone--ie me--is letting us down). God used him, whatever his motives, to deal with me. All week, God has sort of been saying the same thing in my spirit. No more excuses. BE THERE. Be the leader you are called to be.

I have a ways to go and I still don't really think I'm leadership material, and my emotions are screaming against walking back into the fray, but God is God and I love Him more than anything. Obedience is better than sacrifice, although right now I feel like it's all about the sacrifice. :)

What about you? You ready to dip a toe in and let God use you?

Reality TV

Okay, the time has come... Survivor starts tonight, Survivor starts tonight, hiho the dario, survivor starts tonight. YAY!!!!

This has been a fabulous week so far! I received and returned my content edit for That's (Not Exactly) Amore, the third Drama Queens book. I am working intensively on a new proposal. Finally some direction. And I'm working on the third Westward Hearts book. Working hard but on a forgiving schedule. Determined that from now on, I will not overload myself. I discovered on this last book, that it's better to take more time, really get to know my characters and spend some time plotting. The book is so much better and more developed. If you are a writer, RUN and buy PLOT and STRUCTURE by James Scott Bell. it is a FABULOUS book and rejuvenated my writing.

I'm feeling more focused to work at this craft and be serious about it as a job. A job I love, but one nonetheless. I needed my own space away from the "family" areas. For ten years I've been writing in living room, bedroom, even the kitchen for a time. And I told Rusty. It's enough. I need a space I can call my office! SO to that end, we moved my desk into my own little corner of the garage. I lift my gaze above my monitor and I have a shelf with my beautiful Williamsburg series by Elswyth Thane. And my beloved Love Comes softly series by (who else?) Janette Oke--the reason I became a writer. To my left is a lovely clock base with a pen holder that Igot from the advisory board when I was president of ACFW. And to my right...All the seasons of Smallville on DVD so far. :) Also on my left is a painting my daughter did for me of a lion standing majestically on rocks looking out over a valley. She's so gifted.

Anyway, ours is a finished garage where we have our treadmill and elliptical and all the weights and stuff. Plus a TV of course, because who can run without TV these days? Speaking of which, I got my tshirt from the last one--the one we didn't run. I guess if you pay you still get the tshirt. :) There is a 5K race in Springfield in November and we've decided to head for that one. I WILL run one of those doggone thigns. I took a few weeks off running so I've had to start back at a really light workout, but I'm getting there again.

I guess that's it for this time.
Peace

Catching up

Well, my vaca is about over and time to get back to work. I'm looking forward to hitting the desk every day and finish up this year with grace and peace. My schedule is much slower paced now until the end of the year. And still haven't sent out proposals so it's REALLY looking slow for next year. :) Still in the planning stages as far as that goes. I find that I'm at peace. And not stressing. God has promised to supply my needs as long as He gets first place. And that's where we are!

I've found a new worship CD! Rusty and I have started dialogue with a church in a new state where we are feeling led to move after Cat graduates next year.
The pastor sent his daughter's myspace page where there are some samples of her music. Beautiful worship leader. Her voice is very similar to Crystal Lewis and the anointing is strong. Have a listen and buy a CD if you feel led.
I got mine today and I'm listening to it. It's wonderful!
www.myspace.com/writtenbycynthia

Well, Rusty and I just got home after a day and a half away. We had a great time. Today Will has his first football game--two actually. So we're about to head back out to do that!

Hugs

T

reviews....come laugh with me....

I got three very different Reviews today from three different sources....
Check these out. I'm not sure what two spoons means in the last one. But the site had cereal all over it, so I'm assuming this might be a young mom that feeds her kids a lot of cereal and reviews on the side? I'm not sure and didn't have time to stick around and find out. My friend Rachel mentioned one day that she thinks all reviewers are just nice. UH. NOPE... some are honest with a kind spirit and some are honest (and we want them to be) but not kind spirited at all. Very snarky. I usually get great reviews. But not always. Every once in awhile my style and characters just don't mesh. But without naming sites of these reviews, I wanted to show you how subjective it is from reader to reader. Not everyone is going to like me. That doesn't lessen the fact that I have a calling to write the books God has given me to write to the best of my ability. Believe me, no one is harder on me and my books than I am. (smile)
ENJOY THESE----I did.

OKAY Here they are
Review #1

Defiant Heart is the first in the Avon Inspire line – and if Defiant Heart is any indication, it will be a great line up! Ms. Bateman is a talented author, and in this first book in the Westward Hearts series, she grabbed my interest on page one and held it through out.

Fannie is a realistic heroine, kind and caring, in spite of her circumstances. She’s also quick to defend those less fortunate than herself, and willing to go to any length to care for those she loves. Blake is a true heroine, strong, wise, and caring, even if he is a stickler for the rules. I found myself cheering for Fannie and hoped she’d keep her siblings alive on the difficult and dangerous trip.


**************************************************************************
Review #2
I enjoyed the way Tracey Bateman used several different perspectives to tell this story. Sometimes you heard from Fannie, sometimes from Blake (the wagon master) and sometimes from Sam, the wagon master’s ‘half-breed’ guide and partner. It gave the book a well-rounded and broad base to build the story on.

I also enjoyed the imagery of “Defiant Heart.” The author described things in such a way that you felt like you were traveling with the wagoners, facing the challenges right along with them. When the wagon train was struck by a tornado, I could feel the power of the wind around me.

I must admit that as much as I enjoyed “Defiant Heart” there were a few things that could have been improved. That biggest issue for me was that a few of the characters in this novel were a little bit stereotypical; most particularly the villains. They villains seemed to lack the depth that the heroes had, and that pulled the overall quality down just a notch.

Conclusion

While “Defiant Heart” does have a few imperfections, it’s a very enjoyable story. I feel bad that I waited so long to read it, since it took me only a few short hours to read once I finally picked it up this morning. I guess an engaging tale will do that to you.

I think that most fans of Christian fiction will enjoy “Defiant Heart,” particularly those who share my affinity for historical novels. ****************************************************
REVIEW #3
This novel kicks off the start of a new series entitled Westward Hearts. And in truth it does feel like a beginning. Set during the time of westward expansion, the novel focuses on orphans Fannie Caldwell and her two young siblings who were sold into servanthood by their stepfather. When a wagon train pulls into town, Fannie puts her plan to escape from her cruel master into action. Fannie is strong willed, determined and, oh yes, cliche though it may be, she is beautiful.(SIDENOTE FROM TRACEY: She actually ISN'T BEAUTIFUL. BUT FROM THE HERO'S POV SHE IS) She meets her match in the handsome and equally headstrong wagon master Blake Tanner. Life on the trail is a series of trials that is exacerbated when the Caldwell clan joins in on the journey. Through the perils they face, Fannie and Blake slowly recognize their love for one another. And that folks is where it ends. It really is just the beginning of a story. I have to wonder if a fuller novel was written and then split into two parts to begin the development of this series. I enjoyed the story as I have all the other historical inspiration fiction I have read but if you are looking for a grat book set in the wild west, I would recommend Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers or Petticoat Ranch by Mary Connealy.

I'm giving Defiant Heart 2 spoonfuls of cereal because it did keep me turning the pages but it just felt so underdeveloped and there are some other great choices in the same genre that I would recommend instead of this title.

OUCH!!!!!!!!!
LOL
Tracey

Everyone's Busier than I am!

Hey Rach and Janelle. Thanks for writing a response on yesterday's blog. It was a TOUGH day! Sometimes I think I put too much of me out there. But I can't seem to stop myself. LOL

Okay, how great is this?
Today I unplugged my computer (well, I mean I plugged it back in--obviously). We woke up to ginormous storms, so I took that as a sign that I was to unplug. Totally.
As soon as the kids text messaged me that they got to school safely (cheesy mama grin), I turned off my blackberry, plopped my pillows on the couch, covered up with my HUGE throw that has a picture Jesus on it. Symbolic of course of being wrapped in Jesus--which I needed today. I was watching a show about hurricanes, then turned it over to a Black and White flick with Margaret O'brien and the next thing I know it's 12:30. Again, woke up with that heart pounding feeling that I needed to get to work.
Got up and did end up working a couple of hours, but that was okay. I actually feel energized.
Tonight, My daughter is going to a financial class she's attending through the church, two sons have ball practices, my neice who lives with us, is goign to see her brother, and my other son has a million pages of homework so I don't expect him to come up for air before bedtime.
SO!!!! For once, guess who's actually off tonight??? And guess who's watching Big Brother 8? That's right...me!

Day of Rest?

I woke up today in a panic that I'd slept so late (7:03). What am I supposed to be doing? I have words to write! Oh, that's right. I turned it in to the powers that be. But then I couldn't sleep anyway so I got up and watched Bill Clinton on the Today show. Boy is he ever a great orator. LOL Most Liars----I mean---Lawyers are.

So I actually did have a half a day of almost rest before another crisis occured. LOL Life...then heaven-- If I'm lucky and all you Baptists are right about eternal security (from your lips to God's ears)!

Seriously, I think God is stripping my confidence for a reason. Maybe I'm prideful? I didn't think I was, but you know, our vices are seldom known until they're revealed. And pride does go before a fall. Right now I feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Falling...falling...falling. All I have to say is there better be some great, funky characters coming out of this experience. Because if there is no lesson to the last year of my life, I'm probably in big, big trouble. :)
But God is still good right?
What was it the Hebrew children said when face with the fiery furnace. "If God wants to, he can deliver, but even if he doesn't, I won't bow to your idol."
Gotta love that kind of faith. Spunky...dare I say it, Barbarian.

Love lots
T

My Son and the latte

Well, I said when I had something relevant to say I would...
Today is Sunday, I'm on a writing marathon to finish up my current book and turn it in on Tuesday.
If you've never spent three days in a chair typing, you can imagine how much pain you feel in all of your muscles. Every muscle aches.
But that's not what's relevant today. I choose this life and i LOVE it and let's face it if I didn't push deadline so much and could suddenly develop a more even personality I wouldn't have to deal with thse crazy marathons. however... Rome wasn't built in a day, and to be honest, Probably still wouldn't be built if I'd been the one that had to do it.

So I'm writing away, loving my story, to be honest but starting to feel a little sorry for myself when my son knocks on my door. My sweet sixteen year old son brought me a small vanilla latte from Starbucks, hugged me, and left me alone so I could go back to work.

Okay, I don't want to say it's because he's grounded from his phone and wants it back. I prefer to believe (and I have no reason not to) that his love for me prompted this wonderful kind act on his part.

I'm just saying....